Last Scream His breathing was so rapid by this point that it was the only thing he could hear. He couldn't hear his footsteps racing against the stone, the creak of his lantern, nor the ever so growing scream of the beast.
I thought what you wrote here was very good! I like the way you used the 3rd person perspective to really help this visually come to life. There are some ways you might want to improve on making the reader really feel apart of the terror that needs to grip them in scenes like this one, but over all this piece is really great! Another thing I love about this is the wording. I felt that I was really was in an older time with the use of the words like lantern and cobblestone and just the way you set up some up the sentences are amazing! I hope you keep writing because this is something that shows you have what it takes to be a great writer.
I found this really helpful! Thank you so much for the critique and the compliment. I think I squealed a little. >.<
you are welcome i thought it was really good! I am such a goof ball and I really had to turn on my serious when I read this because it really deserves a complement that is something meaningful because of the awesome way you wrote this and how much thought it takes to be a writer. I write a little...a lot... and I know that it takes some serious creative stuff to do what you did. WRITE ON MY FRIEND